Serenity Now!

Gabby has entered a new phase that I'm prayerful and hopeful will be of short duration. When I picked her up from school on Friday, her teacher told me she'd had a rough day. I think she down-played just how rough it was. When I asked her about it, she became upset and seemed remorseful. She apologized to her teachers and I withdrew a couple of privileges from her that she usually has.

She was with her dad Friday night and most of Saturday. She was good for me Saturday night when she got home. She normally is. She pushes her limits, I don't always do the best job of being as firm as I should on everything. I pick my battles. On Sunday, I was more or less expecting her to act out in class as she does so about once a month and she was past due. She made it all the way through until the last 5 minutes when I recognize her blood-curdling screams while sitting in my class. I go out to be told she was running around like a crazy person and refusing to listen to her teachers. I dragged her home kicking and screaming and she was sent to her room when we got home.

Then there was today! I had just gone to lunch and was beginning to eat my usual cheese and crackers when Gabby's daycare called. I was told to come get her as she just wouldn't behave and they had tried everything. Not the call I wanted to get. I go to the school and was horrified to hear of and see the trouble she caused. I took her home and she's had every thing that wasn't necessary taken from her. She hasn't been happy about any of it, no treats, no shows, no games, no stories. I've put her to work hoping she gets that the fun stops as soon as the bad behavior begins. She seems to be getting it. She's spent most the day crying with me telling her no to all that she asks to have or do and making her tell me why I'm saying no.

I have a few ideas about the cause of the behavior. Somethings are just outside my control and I just have to make the best of it. So I'll just work on what I can and hope this phase will be short-lived. I admit, I've done my fair share of crying today as well. I can't help but feel like I'm a bad mother when Gabby acts this way and I can't quite figure out why or how to help her improve immediately. I feel a fair amount of guilt at times being a single mom, whether I should or not, and for being unable to give Gabby the life I feel she deserves. Don't worry, it passes. I know that I'm meant to be Gabby's mother, I know that the course I've taken is the right one, and I know that I'm not alone in loving and wanting the best for my little girl. It's just been one of those days! Here's hoping tomorrow will be better!