Saturday, June 28, 2008

Tag! I'm it!

3 Joys:
1. Gabby, isn't it obvious?
2. Eating the perfect steak
3. Discovering I'm able to be self-sufficient and independent

3 Fears
1. Snakes! One of my first memories is coming face to face with one during a game of hide and seek when I was about 3. I still hear that hiss and see that snake clear as if it happened yesterday. I have total freak outs when I come across them which happens more than one would think.
2. The fears every mother has but are too terrible to ever actually voice.
3. Both of our presidential nominees, though Obama definitely scares me more than McCain. I still can't figure out how either one of them won and have yet to come to terms with the fact that one of them will be president. I'm most afraid of what kind of Supreme Court justices they would nominate.

3 Goals
1. To get back in shape and eventually run a full marathon. The marathon may be a few years down the line, but I'll do it some day
2. To get Gabby back in a good bedtime routine. Her school has agreed to cut off the napping so I'm hopeful bedtime will be easier and earlier from now on.
3. To once again stop biting my nails. I'm almost ready.

3 Current Obsessions
1. Henry VIII, all his wives, and children. I've read so many books about him and his wives and it's all just so fascinating.
2. Diet Dr. Pepper. I am not ready to give it up though I've cut back. It's just the best beverage ever!
3. BYU football and college football in general. I have high hopes for this season and am so ready for it to get started. Now to just find someone to go to games with......

3 Random Surprising Facts
1. I've been pulled over for speeding about 20 times in many different states and never had a ticket. I've gotten 1 written warning and every other time told to go my merry way with a wave and a smile. I only had to use my feminine wiles once in Wyoming, but that cop was mean and threatening to take me to jail. That was the only time I cried too, but that was what was he wanted before letting me go. I guess another fear is a woman cop.
2. I hated country music with a passion until I was 19 and it suddenly made sense to me.
3. I take my sandwiches dry. I don't like mayo or Miracle Whip on them. I really just like cheese and meat. I don't even put lettuce or tomato on them. Pickles I love but only on the side. I put Miracle Whip in my tuna and mayonaise in egg salad, otherwise I go without. I hate jelly, too. I eat pb&j's without the j.

I tag:
Jennifer Torgerson (even though you're not on blogspot)
Dollie
Natalie
Stacey
Leslie

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Swimming and Singing

Jen and David are looking for a new home so I've been watching Maggie and David more often. Maggie and David are good kids and we have fun hanging out with them during the week. Gabby enjoys Maggie's exersaucer as much as Maggie does. I thought Maggie was giving Gabby a choice look in this picture.

We finally made it to our pool on Saturday. Gabby is extremely timid around the water. She didn't budge from the top step unless I was with her and then she clung to me. We didn't stay very long, but it was nice to be in the sun and water for a bit. She decided it would be more fun to take a bath with her duck there. That's her new thing, baths with the inflatable duck. At least she's happy taking them again!








Gabby's latest game is "Store". Her playroom is the store and I'm the saleswoman. I suggest things she may be interested in until she deems an item to be "perfect" and is willing to buy. She can be a tough sale. She keeps her pretend money in her shirt and pulls it out the top (I'm still trying to figure out what inspired her to keep it there). She bought the hat, microphone, and sunglasses the other evening. I think they were put to good use. She definitely takes after my outstanding singing abilities. She doesn't like for me to take pictures of her lately (I have to be discreet in videoing her), hence the celebrity-like grab for the camera at the end.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

The End of One Chapter Means the Start of a New One...

I haven’t mentioned anything about the status of my marriage since separating from Nick but I’m putting it out there: I will soon be divorced (it should be final in the next week or so). It may be cliché, but the past 6 months have been the best of times and the worst of times. My life is certainly not turning out how I hoped nor planned. I feel hopeful and optimistic about my life but in a completely new way. I am optimistic (and determined) that I will continue to be happy, but my happiness has so little to do with “dreams” and life going as I hope and plan. I continually marvel at the miracle that has taken place in my heart, that I can honestly feel grateful for my trials and struggles. There is so little room left for anger when gratitude takes root. I’m just so glad for how my life is now, I’m mostly over how it was. I marvel at how many times and ways a heart can be broken, but it’s being mended in what I hope is a proper and healthy way.

There have been some amazing things resulting from starting this new chapter in my life. I’ve learned so much about the worth of a true friend. I never knew I had so many or just how amazing they are. I still find it a bit baffling when others want to help me and are genuinely kind to me. It’s still taking some getting to used to, but I’m getting more comfortable in being a recipient of kindness. Telling people that I’m getting divorced can be scary, not knowing what sort of reaction will come, but my family and friends have reacted with such complete and unquestioning love, understanding, and acceptance. I thought I’d feel like I was wearing a Scarlet D, but I that hasn’t been the case in any situation. My parents and each of my siblings offered their homes to me and anything that I needed; I knew I only had to ask. So many of my friends offered the same and everyone has always been willing to listen or ready with kind and supportive words.

I’ve discovered another best friend in my sister Jennifer. Of the 4 sisters, we were the least close. I would have been so lost (and homeless) if it weren’t for Jenny. She can witness to what a wreck I was, but she never treated me like I was one. It’s wonderfully calming to be treated normally when everything in your life is in utter chaos. It’s incredibly healing to be treated as if your whole spectrum of feelings are normal and to be with those who allow you to feel and express them without judgment or condemnation. Jen and David were so instrumental in helping me just feel normal and rational. David didn’t even flinch the time he found me lying on the kitchen floor at 4am (that’s a funny story if any of you are ever interested in hearing it).

When I was 12, I went to a Daddy/Daughter activity at church. The last activity of the day was an obstacle course for the girls to walk through blindfolded. We were given no instructions before being taken into the gym. As soon as I walked in, a person was right next to me giving me directions and telling me not to listen to anyone else. I could hear my dad shouting directions as well and there was a moment of confusion trying to figure out who should guide me. My Dad then said, “Trish, just stop and listen only to me.” I focused on his voice and went through the course without any problems and the other person eventually gave up on turning me in the wrong direction and persuading me to disregard my dad.

That’s the best way I know to describe my experience going through this. I was suddenly thrust into a completely new and scary situation having no clue as to what obstacles were before me or even the direction I should go. I realized I needed to stop and find the voice of my Heavenly Father go by His direction and ignore the rest. I’ve felt so guided and protected throughout this. I’ve felt an enduring peace that can only come from my Savior. I have no idea what my future holds but I have complete trust in my God to continue to lead me to those things which will bring me joy and to grant me comfort through the things that break my heart. I absolutely know that Christ’s hand is continually stretched forth waiting for me to accept His love and mercy and be led by Him. I’ve been completely overwhelmed and humbled by how much understanding I’ve been granted and an overall feeling of purpose to everything good and bad. I look forward to discovering more of what that purpose entails.

It’s surprisingly refreshing to be honest about the state of my life for a change. I spent so much time and energy acting a part, trying so hard to be that part and always failing. So here I am, having failed in my marriage and having been as low, miserable, and hopeless as a person can get and starting all over again. I’m still keenly aware of all my faults and failings, but I’ve been blessed to now associate with those who make me aware of my strengths and successes. I feel like I’m me again and I’m genuinely happy. Ironically, my marriage helped prepare me for being a single mother. I was quite accustomed to doing everything on my own save a couple of things. Now, I still do everything, but without being berated or criticized and it’s blissfully liberating and even enjoyable. I don’t even feel as though I really have any burdens placed upon me because I no longer feel so alone.

I really don’t have any expectations of what my life will bring. I’m so grateful to be a mother and plan to be the best mother I can to Gabby. She brings so much joy and fulfillment to my life. She’s the most amazing person I’ve even known! It’s different having to be suddenly career-minded, but I’m kind of excited about that, too. Everyone has been most complimentary about what they think my future will hold in the way of dating and getting remarried. I have my own thoughts on that, but I’m at least open to the idea now. To the idea of dating anyway. Maybe. I don’t think it’s anything I’ll have to deal with or worry about for a while, tucked away as I am in my peacefully busy life.

I plan on staying in Utah for the time being. It’s the right place for me and Gabby presently, but I’m definitely open to moving closer to home with the right opportunity. I’ve been asked about this frequently, I am keeping the name Greenwood. I would go back to being Trish DeVaux (that’s who I feel I am again), but I think it’s good that Gabby and I share the same last name. So there it is!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A Bump on the Head...

What a week I'm having! Monday night, I about knocked myself out by hitting my head on the banister. I was bending over to pick something up and THUNK! It really hurt and I curled up in a ball on the floor writhing in agony while Gabby laughed. When I informed her that Mommy was hurting, she quickly offered to kiss it all better. After she kissed the tender bump, I said I thought I would put some ice on it. Gabby was indignant with the suggestion that her kiss had not completely healed my boo-boo. She forcefully informed me that my head was fine as she had kissed it all better and that I did not need any ice and I was fit to play games with her. She did give me another kiss just to be sure though.

I don't know if it's the bump or just other stuff on my mind, but I've been the most absent-minded klutz since then. I tripped up my stairs carrying a bowl and somehow whacked my chin on the bowl. It's still tender along with my head. I've set my alarm clock incorrectly the past three mornings and only happened to wake up in time by some miracle. Tuesday, I was about a mile down the road on the way to work and school, when I realized I had forgotten shoes for my child. This not being Arkansas, I decided I couldn't send her to school shoeless so I rushed back to get them. In my rush, I forgot to close my garage door and it was open to the world until I got home at 9pm yesterday. I'm fortunate that my area is safe enough that nothing was taken. Yesterday, I forgot my cell phone and turned around to get that. Of course I forgot to charge it the night before so it died on me before the day was over.

I had another bad fall on my stairs today. It was even worse because I was carrying Gabby after her bath. She has puppy hooded towel. She wraps herself in it and calls herself a puppy-ball. She insists I carry her downstairs to dry off and get dressed. So I was carrying the puppy-ball Gabby and slipped on a step. Gabby was thrown up in the air and I somehow managed to catch her while falling hard and sliding down a few steps myself. Gabby is fine, not a mark on her, but I'm in a sorry state now. It hurts to sit now, my neck feels bit funky, and I'm still trying to figure out what I did to my leg! I know I'm accident prone, but this week has been out of control (I won't even mention how many times I've spilt stuff this week either!)

A couple of other things:

Gabby just said, "I want to start acting strange so I can go to the park." I had told her we're not going to the park at all this week because she didn't act right last time we were there. I'm not sure why she thinks she needs to act strange.

At work, something was itching me just at my bra line. I sit by women only, so I was messing with my bra trying to figure out the problem. I feel the problem and pull out a Curious George sticker. One of my co-workers starts laughing and says, "Trish just pulled a monkey out of her bra!" Of course, our male manager happened to be walking by just at that point. He threw his hands up and said, "I don't even want to know" and kept on walking.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

School pictures

Gabby's teacher said they had the hardest time getting this photo. She said that they'd tell Gabby to smile and she'd use her hand to make herself smile or she'd make a silly face. I guess this was the best they could get!


Gabby's class. As my dad would say, "It looks like a group to draw to!"

Thursday, June 5, 2008

I have to brag!

I bought a few things that required some assembly. I'm proud to say I assembled my new treadmill and ceiling fan all on my own! Not only did I put them together, but they work beautifully! I even got to use my trusty mallot on my treadmill.

I love, love, LOVE my new treadmill. It's a Reebok treadmill. I'd run out my old one. It was about 5 years old, but it wouldn't go as faster than 5mph anymore. I found this one on Memorial Day for a great deal. I decided to buy a higher end one and I can totally tell the difference. It's a lot quieter and I love all the extra features it has. I'm hoping it will be easier on my knees, too. I had it delivered so I didn't have to lug it in on my own. It was easier than my last one to assemble. It was tricky at a couple of points having to turn it over and such, but I managed. It feels so good to be able to run and get some physical activity in. I'm so out of shape, but that won't last for long! Gabby insists on 'exercising' as well and walks on it every night for a few minutes.

Yes, I installed a ceiling fan on my own as well! I had my doubts about being able to this correctly, but it was actually really simple. It took me a while to do, mostly because I didn't have a ladder when I started and trying to do it from a chair was exhausting on the arms. I couldn't get the base attached right until I got a ladder. After that, it went really smoothly. I wasn't sure I wired it right and I was nervous to turn the power on to test it out. Voila! There is light and the blades are spinning (that's why included the picture above for you doubters out there!).

When I was replacing light bulbs in the old fixture, I somehow shattered the glass cover in my bare hands. It was crazy. You had to push it back in to the fixture and I guess I pushed in the wrong spot and found myself showered in glass. So I needed to replace it anyway and decided to go with a fan.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Saturdays

With our week days being so busy, I try to do some fun things with Gabby on Saturdays. Gabby is easy to please, and I'm enjoying going to some new places with her.


Last Saturday, we went to the aquarium over in Sandy. There wasn't a whole lot to see, but the stingrays were really cool. They would swim to the surface and you could pet them.

Yesterday was Gabby's first Primary Activity Day at church. I had planned on staying for a bit, but Gabby told me to leave and jumped right in. She was excited to do the crafts. She's making a "kite" here.


Gabby flying her kite.


This is the park near our house. It's not the best shot of Gabby, but it's a good shot of the mountains. We're on the west side of valley, those are the Wasatchs to the east. When we got to the park yesterday, there were several kids playing. Gabby ran up to them and shouted, "who wants to be my friend?" No one said anything, so she asked again, and again, and again, until a girl about 6 or 7 years old finally said she'd be her friend. Gabby started a game of freezing tag at that point. Today, we went back and she made a new friend. She asked her, "What's your number? My number is 3." That's Gabby's unique way of asking someone's age. She's so fun to watch and listen to.